On Thursday, David Letterman used his Top Ten List to count down the "Ways Regis Philbin Celebrated His 80th Birthday." Given the barbs unleashed, Reege -- who has announced that he is leaving "Live! With Regis and Kelly" in November -- probably would been happier to receive a simple card or even a membership in a fruitcake-of-the-month club.
"Wandered streets in his bathrobe," read one reason.
"Dozed off in his cake," read another.
Sadly, Regis didn't celebrate his birthday by appearing on the "Late Show" in person. Clearly, he had more important things to do, such as the item at number one on Letterman's list: "Posted anti-Dave rant on al-Qaeda website."